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This rough-sex renaissance seems to be lining up with a period of history in which women wield more power than ever before, and there may be a correlation. According to some studies, women who play dominant roles in their lives may prefer to be submissive during sex. "I feel empowered in my daily life, so being dominated in bed is a nice break," Nicole says. It's not so surprising when you think about it. Powerful men have been paying dominatrices to rough them up in underground sex dens for decades. Maybe powerful women are just catching up. "It's a maturing of feminism that women have started to embrace all aspects of what they want in bed, rather than just the politically correct ones," says Cavanah.
Like sexual desire, the concept of feminism itself is not black and white. We police ourselves in so many areas of our lives — maybe sex is the one place where we want to be able to let go. "Being willing to push some limits actually makes me feel very powerful sexually, even if I am in the submissive role," says Lucy*, 28, an actress from Brooklyn. "I don't think I could ever have a long-term or life partner who wasn't into it. It just excites me too much, and I'd never want to give it up." And ultimately, isn't being empowered to do what you want — even when it isn't what you feel is expected of you as a strong, self-possessed woman — what good sex is all about?
Like sexual desire, the concept of feminism itself is not black and white. We police ourselves in so many areas of our lives — maybe sex is the one place where we want to be able to let go. "Being willing to push some limits actually makes me feel very powerful sexually, even if I am in the submissive role," says Lucy*, 28, an actress from Brooklyn. "I don't think I could ever have a long-term or life partner who wasn't into it. It just excites me too much, and I'd never want to give it up." And ultimately, isn't being empowered to do what you want — even when it isn't what you feel is expected of you as a strong, self-possessed woman — what good sex is all about?