IAmNoAngelSissy

I have been a very sexual person as long as I can remember. Some of my earliest memories are sexually oriented, and involve sexual activity .. even if I didn't know what I was doing at the time, or why.

I don't want to get too far into this here, but for clarification … I am Transgender MtF. I have been this way my whole life … even before I knew what it was. I am not living in transition, and have no CURRENT plans to transition due to my life situation. I am a married, middle aged, gender dysphoric person with a wonderful wife, and four great kids who are all under the age of ten … so I don't want to disrupt our life right now. I have lived with this for over forty years, and though it still bothers me every single day, my family is more important to me. Maybe I'll change my mind in the future when my children are grown? I cannot say. I do wish I had known what gender dysphoria was much earlier, and that when I discovered what it was .. I was brave enough to admit it to myself, and others. It would have saved a lot of agony. My gender issues coupled with my sexual orientation (which are very separate BTW) really caused a lot of confusion and pain for much of my life. Only a very few people know my problem, and it is the one secret I still keep from my wife. That's all I'm going to say on this for now.

I have adopted the label polysexual as it was given by a friend, although I see it's not one of the options for your profile here. To me pansexual means you are attracted to all people of all genders, and polysexual means being attracted to someone sexually on an individual basis, regardless of gender. I am not attracted to all people, but lots of people. I am primarily attracted to feminine gender types, and find most all women beautiful in one way or another .. including transgender MtF individuals. I can be easily, and immediately attracted to a woman on a purely physical basis, and it happens often ... daily ... hourly. Not so much with men. If I am attracted to a man sexually it is either because he is very feminine, or something about his personality has clicked with me. I do not usually find masculine men attractive on an instant basis. I do however enjoy sex with masculine men when my fetishes are being catered to.

Which brings me to my fetishes…

I have many. Very many fetishes, and proclivities. Gynemimetophilia (MtF transfan), algolagnia (sexual pain), pictophillia (pornography), cunnilingus, fellatio, analingus, voyeurism, sadism, masochism, hard-core edging and orgasm denial, watersports, rape play-forced sex, lingerie, narratophilia (dirty talk), vagina worship, BBWs, humiliation, anonymous sex, medical fetishism and themes, cum play, stigmatophillia (piercings), age play, objectophilia (dildos), incest roleplay, large cocks,cosplay (costume play), fisting, forced feminism/sissification, sexual hypnosis, glory holes, leather, goth culture, humiliation, supernatural/sci-fi themes, I could go on, but you get the idea.

I am a switch with feminine playmates, but I only bottom to masculine ones. I can be either Dom, or Sub with feminine playmates, but I am only sub to masculine ones. When I am dominant I particularly enjoy bondage, dirty talk, fear, and inflicting light pain. I have only played with one partner who was into serious pain, and I really enjoyed the experience, but have not done it very much, or in quite some time. When I am submissive, I can be VERY submissive. I enjoy being hurt, used, restrained, controlled, and verbally abused. With masculine male playmates I particularly enjoy anonymous sex, or being totally dominated and topped.

I'm a HUGE erotica aficionado who enjoys all mediums. Preoccupations in that area are wide and varied, and change depending on my mood. If I was to choose one focus of mine overall, It would be visual pornography, although I also enjoy text, audio/music porn, and live shows (public dungeons, convention demonstrations, etc). As long as it's legal, and everyone involved is consenting, even if it's forced role-play.

Basically I'm a freak into many things. Like I said ... I like what I like.

Non-sexual interests include - Reading (Sci-Fi/Horror, Fantasy, Fiction, Forensic Detective, Conspiracy, Farce, Graphic Novels/Comics), Cooking/Eating (Sweet! Spicy!), Movies (All kinds), Photography (dilapidated architecture, cosplay, Black & White), Music (PINK FLOYD!, Techno, Industrial, Classic Rock, Hard Core, Pop, Electronica, Emotional, pretty much anything but country. I even like a little rap), Board Games (Catan series, Arkham Horror, Zombicide, Twilight Imperium, Tannhäuser, Chaos in the Old World, Ravenloft, etc), Pen & Paper RPGs (RIFTS, Beyond the Supernatural, Heroes Unlimited, Dead Reign, Nightbane, Paranoia, Kult, Mutant Chronicles, Dark Heresy, Shadowrun, Old WoD games, etc), Card Games (Doomtrooper, Illuminati: New World Order, etc), Miniatures games (Warhammer 40k, Malifaux, etc) Again ... I like what I like.

As far as what kind of person I am, I think I am an odd combination of down to earth regular guy, and complicated dreamer. I'm very creative, and enjoy making new friends and conversing .. whether it be in person, or online. Physically I am very masculine in appearance, but I have always identified as feminine. Yes, I have gender dysphoria, but I firmly believe sexuality, and gender are not necessarily realted .. although they tend to overlap at times. I am not transitioning at the moment, and I'm not sure I ever plan to due to my life situation.

As far as my "situation" goes … I am just getting back into the world of the "alternate lifestyle" after a long time away, and I'm a family man in an open marriage .. so my play is infrequent and I do not travel. I'm mostly looking for friendship, and like-minded people to talk to. I like to make friends. I try to avoid labels, but it's tough to communicate interests and desires sometimes without them.

Anyway, I'm hoping to make friends here, to have/join interesting discussions, to get back to some of the things I miss and to see how the scene has changed over the last 10 years, or so I have been away. I'm mostly just looking for folks to talk about anything with, not just kinks. Anything interesting really ... don't let my fetishes scare you away, I'm a multi-layered person.

My Fetlife handle is IamnoAngel